Feeling pretty damn confused about my social anxiety. I constantly am trying to experience new things and then at the same time avoiding people or conversations. This always happens before, during and after the experience. I am continually analyzing interactions or statements within a conversation, understanding deeper meaning and getting lost in thought. Unable to escape concepts. I can never live in the now, I’m aways perceiving and breaking down the information. My chances to contribute to conversation allude me. And if I do have something to say, I’m so self critical I cannot find the words. I find that with one person I can connect deeply, but usually I do so on the basis of struggles and inner conflict. I do not want to form relationships based on my challenges, I want to build a beautiful existence with another, not wallow in confusion and self pity. What positivity can I bring to this world? How do I accept myself and my actions for me, and live unapologetically as myself?